This poem was inspired by a venting session with my bestie and my Scorp. A mesh of fact and fiction, the hypothetical and the actual, people you know and people you never heard of. So you don't have to ask me who this is about :-)
Enjoy!
Love Me or Leave Me Alone
Love me or leave me alone
...didn't understand it until now
you taunting me with your new gf
Yet still keeping in touch with me...
Love me or leave me alone
Apologizing for falling out of touch
And still keeping yourself distanced
Helps nothing but my irritation and questions
Love me or leave me alone
Both simultaneously isn't an option
I've already proved my commitment
Honestly I'm tired of trying and losing
Pulling me down this endless road
The fucked up part is-- I care so much
I'd just about let you, too.
Love me or leave me alone
You're holding up progress to my happiness
You can be a part of that picture or not;
Give me an answer before I snap...
Beating around the bush
Trying to have me and her
Popping up when your life's convenient.
Being a woman in a feeling
Doesn't obligate me to wait
And waiting ain't wising you up
So let me explicitly say:
Love Me or Leave Me Alone
Hoping for the former
Praying it ain't the latter
Grateful for an answer
if you give me either.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 19
Lessons From Sophomore Year
So last year I did a note on lessons I learned from Freshmen year. (Link >>> here)
Well, I decided it was time to do it again. So here goes.
1. Your REAL friends return for another year. You all might get busy and start to miss each other, but no one forgets about the other.
2. New friends come along, and if they belong, they just FIT. Meaning, you don't feel like you're forced to change for them.
3. Sophomore year comes and you start to see the snakes in the grass.
4. It's amusing watching freshmen learn the same lessons you learned.
5. Some people have never had to financially take care of themselves before. So they don't understand questions like "How much is your cell phone bill?" or statements like "I need gas money."
6. Declaring a major is hard because you have to start thinking about real life.
7. People are [STILL] there to help you. Just because you're not a freshmen anymore doesn't mean you won't still need someone to talk to you, to tutor you, to help you study, etc.
8. Even I, with all my flaws, has something to teach someone.
9. Mentoring is so amazing! And it's not just about what you can teach, but also what you can learn.
10. When people do wrong by you, the feeling that follows hurt is apathy.
11. There are still reasons left not to give up on the male species. There are some out there that are true gentlemen.
12. Dress for yourself. Because if you don't dress up, people got something to say. If you do dress up, people got all the questions in the world about where you going and who you dressing up for.
13. Good friends can support you, even if they don't understand.
14. Too much alcohol - food = bad idea.
15. The best birthdays are with good friends.
16.The world thinks that successful black women can't get married.
17. Sometimes, the people who look they're trying to be a part of the solution are the whole damn problem to begin with.
18. You get burned out on lower BD food before the first semester is over.
19. Nikki Giovanni is so real, I can understand why the FBI might have had her on a list.
20. Shihan is still fine, even though he is married with kids, and he cut his hair off.
21. Family Guy, after you get used to the humor, is your favoritest show to watch at two in the morning.
22. Pastor Kearney Thomas is HIGHlarious lmao. But also somewhat of an embarrassment.
23. Twitter brings drama that we haven't seen since the invention of the picture phone. (see video below for clarification)
24. The things your parents don't know about you grows and grows. But it's not so bad now because you're getting old enough to make choices like that.
25. Waking up is sometimes harder than just staying up.
26. Sometimes you have not because you ask not. So just ask.
27. Every new year in hip-hop and rap makes you wonder how people like Waka and Soulja boy are making all the money, and people like B.O.B. and Wale are struggling.
28. I look good with bangs
29. You have to learn to give yourself more credit for your accomplishments. Most people are so busy with their own lives that everyone doesn't always have time to stop and pat you on the back.
30. People who support you make time to help you cope.
31. A blender makes dull Friday nights so much better.
32. Hulu and Netflix gives your computer a whole new purpose.
33. God's grace and mercy is so real, even when you're too busy to believe it.
34. People read my blog! ♥
35. You just got to live your life the way that makes you happy. If you do that, don't let the other ish get too deep under your skin, and know that everything happens for a reason, you paint yourself a beautiful life.
I'm stopping at 35 this year. ♥ Thanks to everyone who has helped me learn this year and have been with me throughout the school year; I love you all:
Jacqui, Chavelle, Lamar, Ryadah, Jerrica, Riean, Twin BayBay, Liz, Ms. LaShawnda, J-Strong, Portia, Natalie, Teaire, my Mommy!, my Daddy! ..............and any other names I forgot, insert here _________!
Leave your comments and your lessons learned!
♥ Shay
Well, I decided it was time to do it again. So here goes.
1. Your REAL friends return for another year. You all might get busy and start to miss each other, but no one forgets about the other.
2. New friends come along, and if they belong, they just FIT. Meaning, you don't feel like you're forced to change for them.
3. Sophomore year comes and you start to see the snakes in the grass.
4. It's amusing watching freshmen learn the same lessons you learned.
5. Some people have never had to financially take care of themselves before. So they don't understand questions like "How much is your cell phone bill?" or statements like "I need gas money."
6. Declaring a major is hard because you have to start thinking about real life.
7. People are [STILL] there to help you. Just because you're not a freshmen anymore doesn't mean you won't still need someone to talk to you, to tutor you, to help you study, etc.
8. Even I, with all my flaws, has something to teach someone.
9. Mentoring is so amazing! And it's not just about what you can teach, but also what you can learn.
10. When people do wrong by you, the feeling that follows hurt is apathy.
11. There are still reasons left not to give up on the male species. There are some out there that are true gentlemen.
12. Dress for yourself. Because if you don't dress up, people got something to say. If you do dress up, people got all the questions in the world about where you going and who you dressing up for.
13. Good friends can support you, even if they don't understand.
14. Too much alcohol - food = bad idea.
15. The best birthdays are with good friends.
16.The world thinks that successful black women can't get married.
17. Sometimes, the people who look they're trying to be a part of the solution are the whole damn problem to begin with.
18. You get burned out on lower BD food before the first semester is over.
19. Nikki Giovanni is so real, I can understand why the FBI might have had her on a list.
20. Shihan is still fine, even though he is married with kids, and he cut his hair off.
21. Family Guy, after you get used to the humor, is your favoritest show to watch at two in the morning.
22. Pastor Kearney Thomas is HIGHlarious lmao. But also somewhat of an embarrassment.
23. Twitter brings drama that we haven't seen since the invention of the picture phone. (see video below for clarification)
24. The things your parents don't know about you grows and grows. But it's not so bad now because you're getting old enough to make choices like that.
25. Waking up is sometimes harder than just staying up.
26. Sometimes you have not because you ask not. So just ask.
27. Every new year in hip-hop and rap makes you wonder how people like Waka and Soulja boy are making all the money, and people like B.O.B. and Wale are struggling.
28. I look good with bangs
30. People who support you make time to help you cope.
31. A blender makes dull Friday nights so much better.
32. Hulu and Netflix gives your computer a whole new purpose.
33. God's grace and mercy is so real, even when you're too busy to believe it.
34. People read my blog! ♥
35. You just got to live your life the way that makes you happy. If you do that, don't let the other ish get too deep under your skin, and know that everything happens for a reason, you paint yourself a beautiful life.
I'm stopping at 35 this year. ♥ Thanks to everyone who has helped me learn this year and have been with me throughout the school year; I love you all:
Jacqui, Chavelle, Lamar, Ryadah, Jerrica, Riean, Twin BayBay, Liz, Ms. LaShawnda, J-Strong, Portia, Natalie, Teaire, my Mommy!, my Daddy! ..............and any other names I forgot, insert here _________!
Leave your comments and your lessons learned!
♥ Shay
Wednesday, April 14
I Go Insane, Crazy Sometimes...
I Love Maxwell! This is my favorite song from the Phoneixrising album. Yes, even more than Pretty Wings. He's supposed to be coming to Saint Louis with Jill Scott. Hopefully I won't miss him this time. I really love the old school video feel. Just him and the stage and the camera. It's nice. Enjoy you guys.
Monday, April 12
How Do They Do It? [#cosign]
Was talking to one of my god-sisters tonight, and we somehow brought up the poem "Sex Without Love" by Sharon Olds. This is one of those poems that led to interesting conversation my summer at SWP (shoutouts to Carleton!) and that I still cling to. Mainly because it's opening question is one that I really want to have answered. Some people are capable of seperating the physical from the emotional, or so it seems. How do they do it? Or even better, is it possible to have sex without love? And if it isn't possible, doesn't that mean that the people who think it possible are lying to themselves?
Check out the poem. It's one of my favs:
Mhmz.... food for thought. What side of the fence do you sit on?
Check out the poem. It's one of my favs:
Sex Without Love by Sharon Olds
How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health--just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time.
Mhmz.... food for thought. What side of the fence do you sit on?
Monday, March 8
Coffee, No Cream, Please
Actually, I can't even drink coffee...gives me anxiety attacks.
But I said all that to say...that I felt a need to respond to this one. So, for your enjoyment, what I have to say about alot of stuff, especially being a black [almost] woman and all these messages telling me to date outside the box:
March 8, 2010 at 12:42 am
Although I’m sure this is a conversation for much more “grown people,” I couldn’t resist commenting.
In my short 20 years of life and “relationships,” I haven’t actually considered dating outside my race. Even attending a PWI, where the black community is small and filled with enough drama to create a Lifetime movie, I still have a strong passion for black love.
I’m not racist, but there isn’t anything attractive about white men to me. I will admit to have a small crush on Puerto Rican dudes, but that’s another story. I love and appreciate each and every culture that makes this world of ours go round, but…I have yet to meet someone outside my race that catches my attention and makes me want to pursue them.
And yes, I have noticed the interracial talk seems to get more and more spark every day. Everywhere I turn, it seems to say that the only options I have as a black woman is to be a ghetto hood chick that wants a thug, or become educated and successful and turn into a bitch that looks down on all black men. It’s like a black woman with any type of intellect will find herself strongly disappointed with black male prospects. And I find it to be far from the truth.
I think black men and women need to quit giving up so easily on each other. We’ll keep having problems if everybody nags and no one listens to the other. And men and women are just that, no matter what their race or culture is. Dating outside your race doesn’t erase the relationship problems.
I, too, am fine with what people choose to do, as long as they’re happy and not dragging someone else down in the process. I just know that [when] I daydream about being swept of my feet one day….I mean, when I think about my future…it’s usually me with a black guy.
Shay, the college girl.
That's Just How I Like It ::Kanye shrug::
So uh...how do you like your coffee? Or do you even life coffee? And am I the only one who reads the messages out there like this?
As always, with ♥
♥ Shay
Sunday, March 7
Why you have a FB, a twitter, a formspring, skype, and another IM service
Okay, all of ya'll most of us have been lying.
And whether you're aware of your lying, and you're just putting on a front for others, or if you actually believe your own hype, then that's another thing in yourself.
I think I've touched on this before somewhere, but our generation is so freaking connected. We are truly in an era where distance has less of an impact on bonds and communications. I often joke with people that I use my phone so many other things than calling people. I pay ATTtoo damn much mostly for the chance to
*check my email * text all day * tweet from class * make skype calls * read blogs on the go * sync my calendar * check FB for new photos * share photos * ...you get the picture.
Why do we need all this? Why do I need to keep up with which password is for which site or which app? How come the question "Tell me something people don't know about you" is becoming harder and harder to answer.
We say it's to keep in touch with friends. Some of us might even admit to it because, "everybody was doing it." But that's not a real reason. It's time to be real.
Everybody has a million ways to be connected because we all want to be heard.
We want to be important to someone. There is a need and compulsion to grabbing for attention.
Objection: "I don't do it [tweet, fb, blog, whatever] for attention. "
Response: You sure ain't doing it for your health. If it wasn't for attention, then you wouldn't have had a need to post it in the first place.
Objection: "I could care less what people have to say about it."
Response: Yeah, you could care less, but the point is you do care! Shoot, you care that people care.
I'm not saying that wanting attention is a bad thing. I'm just saying that it's a natural thing we do as people. We reach. We reach and we hope that if we reach out enough, someone will reach back. And today's technology gives us so many arms to reach with. But somehow, we still end up coming up short.
Having so many ways to reach people has changed our focus from quality to quantity. How many people can we reach is the new goal. Even if it isn't, that's how it ends up happening. Our generation misses out so much on the depth that used to define relationships, friendships, etc. It's so easy to make friends and connections now that the work it took to getting to know someone is gone.
This is what ends up happening: one day you need a REAL friend, and realize that none of the 300 "friends" you have on Facebook can help. Rubs me weirdly. And the other thing that happens: you try to tell someone about yourself, and you realized that all the basics have been covered in your blog. Then what do you talk about?
These are just my ideas...and like I said, we all want to be heard. Lol.
What are your thoughts?
♥ Shay
And whether you're aware of your lying, and you're just putting on a front for others, or if you actually believe your own hype, then that's another thing in yourself.
I think I've touched on this before somewhere, but our generation is so freaking connected. We are truly in an era where distance has less of an impact on bonds and communications. I often joke with people that I use my phone so many other things than calling people. I pay ATT
*check my email * text all day * tweet from class * make skype calls * read blogs on the go * sync my calendar * check FB for new photos * share photos * ...you get the picture.
Why do we need all this? Why do I need to keep up with which password is for which site or which app? How come the question "Tell me something people don't know about you" is becoming harder and harder to answer.
We say it's to keep in touch with friends. Some of us might even admit to it because, "everybody was doing it." But that's not a real reason. It's time to be real.
Everybody has a million ways to be connected because we all want to be heard.
We want to be important to someone. There is a need and compulsion to grabbing for attention.
Objection: "I don't do it [tweet, fb, blog, whatever] for attention. "
Response: You sure ain't doing it for your health. If it wasn't for attention, then you wouldn't have had a need to post it in the first place.
Objection: "I could care less what people have to say about it."
Response: Yeah, you could care less, but the point is you do care! Shoot, you care that people care.
I'm not saying that wanting attention is a bad thing. I'm just saying that it's a natural thing we do as people. We reach. We reach and we hope that if we reach out enough, someone will reach back. And today's technology gives us so many arms to reach with. But somehow, we still end up coming up short.
Having so many ways to reach people has changed our focus from quality to quantity. How many people can we reach is the new goal. Even if it isn't, that's how it ends up happening. Our generation misses out so much on the depth that used to define relationships, friendships, etc. It's so easy to make friends and connections now that the work it took to getting to know someone is gone.
This is what ends up happening: one day you need a REAL friend, and realize that none of the 300 "friends" you have on Facebook can help. Rubs me weirdly. And the other thing that happens: you try to tell someone about yourself, and you realized that all the basics have been covered in your blog. Then what do you talk about?
These are just my ideas...and like I said, we all want to be heard. Lol.
What are your thoughts?
♥ Shay
Tuesday, February 16
Click It...U Know You Wanna...
Hey all,
I don't really have much to say today, but I've been chewing over some of the stuff I've read. Some of these bloggers I know personally, and some of them I've just stumbled upon. If you're looking for something interesting to read, or you just want a new blog to stumble on, check out these:
Single Black Male tells you what makes him feel insecure...
The Fly Guy wants to know who you think is the hottest celebrity couple...
Over at Fourth Thursday, he discusses black love and relationships, and the idea of "worth"...
Then go to All Who Wander to see how she responded to Fourth Thursday...
Bonus: The first Rihanna video I've liked in a long time!
Have a good day!
♥ Shay
I don't really have much to say today, but I've been chewing over some of the stuff I've read. Some of these bloggers I know personally, and some of them I've just stumbled upon. If you're looking for something interesting to read, or you just want a new blog to stumble on, check out these:
Single Black Male tells you what makes him feel insecure...
The Fly Guy wants to know who you think is the hottest celebrity couple...
Over at Fourth Thursday, he discusses black love and relationships, and the idea of "worth"...
Then go to All Who Wander to see how she responded to Fourth Thursday...
Bonus: The first Rihanna video I've liked in a long time!
Have a good day!
♥ Shay
Sunday, February 14
Valentine's Day + Love + My Life + Take Notes
This is one of the best Valentine's Day of the 21 that I've had. And it's not just because of what I got from somebody...it's also because of the general state of my life at the moment. Things are well, and I'm so grateful for that in itself.
Some things of note today:
I woke up to these at my door :-)
Then I was able to have a really good brunch with two of my friends. The food was good and the conversation was better! Shoutouts to JG and LJ!
Also, I have two formspring questions that I answered today that I want to share with you guys.
The first one:
These are not lies you guys. Lol. I'm so grateful for the people that I've met at WashU that have been such a great support system and some of them just a lot of freaking fun!
Q: Who is someone at WashU that you look up to? Preferably an upperclassman/woman..
A: so i accidentally deleted my first answer to this...so this one won't be as prolific lol. I feel that there are many upperclassmen women that have done great and amazing things for me, and I LOVE ALL THEM SO FREAKING MUCH. For all the good advice and consoling and nights of hanging out together. It makes me feel all warm inside. With that being said, I don't want to name all of them because I know I'll probably forget someone, and I don't want to name just one because I know that there are so many more that I would have to acknowledge.
The next:
Q: Do you believe in true love? Like the kind that lasts forever? And do you think you've found it yet?
A: I've found true love in God...because my relationship with him is the prototype for all my other relationships of love.
Yes, I do believe in true love. I'm a sucker for love, and just becoming knowledgeable in the many shapes and guises and posers of love. I believe that there is love that lasts forever, even if it does seem rare for the my generation and the generation after us...but I think it just takes a little longer to learn :-)
I don't know if I've found true love. I feel that true love has the power to stay with you through MANY phases of life... Since I've been dating, I would say my life has only had one or two phases. So I don't know if my true love is already here or if I have yet to find it... And I don't think I've had enough trails to test the durability of it either. Give me a couple more years and see what I think then... I'll have more experience and evidence by then.
I think that one is pretty explanatory. I talk about love enough and have plenty of past posts for you to know a little bit more about that.
And finally, this was on my twitter feed, and I had to RT it and post it here.
For you dudes who don't like Trey Songz, just get past your feelings for a minute and realize the validity of these words... #imjustsayin
I know alot of this stuff has come up because it's Valentine's Day, and I know all of it is because of life being a freeway with many overlapping lanes, etc. But it was just cool how all of this has kind of fallen together in one day and how I'm a pretty happy girl at the moment. Go me!
I hope you were able to spot the love and find some appreciation in this day too, whether single or together. The love in our lives comes in so many forms, don't worry about getting caught up in just one. Love is a shape-shifter.
♥ (and not just because of the holiday!)
Shay
P.S.: it wasn't until this post that I realized I didn't have a tag for happiness. How'd that happen?
Also, I was reminded of this video. It's called "For You" by David Ryan Harris. Enjoy it!
Wednesday, February 3
Being in Love by Yourself
is not something I'm trying to do again.
I was reading --->THIS over at jaychanelle's page. No, definitely go read it...the girl is on her ish. Anyway, she starts talking about how relationships are not 50/50, an how sometimes you have to bend for the other. This is a truth I acknowledge and agree fully with. But I, along with a bunch of experienced people, can tell you that sometimes this can become a guise for being in love all by yourself.
So what does it mean to be in love by yourself? It's when you feel like you're the only person whowant need the relationship to last. Your spouse seems nonchalant toward you or lazy in the relationship. You look up one day and you're the only one calling, always making the plans, and having to be the first one to say "I Love You" "We Need to Talk." Before you realize you're in love by yourself, you might make up excuses like "s/he appreciates me, they just don't know how to show it." or "S/he just doesn't have the time, but s/he loves me."
These are all false. Not to steal jaychanelle's thunder, but if someone is really serious about being in a relationship, they make the time. They'll find a way to juggle homework and quality time for you. And they learn how to says "thank you" or, as they should, reciprocate the feelings. Being in love by yourself might make you look like a hero in some way--fighting for love despite the lack of help--but you're not. You're just weighing yourself down.
I won't discount the people who have stuck it through, even when they were getting nothing, and are now stronger than ever. This is the exception. Too often, it's not until they are in jeopardy of losing something that people finally make the choice to give support in the relationship. My question is: if it takes the threat of losing you (especially if this has to happen repeatedly) for someone to be the type of mate you need, do you really want to be with them?
Like I said before, I don't want to have to do this again. I've done it, and it can weaken you, it can weaken your trust in relationships. Don't let yourself be subject to it. Even more, don't put yourself through it. If a guy or girl tells you that they're not ready for a relationship or they can't give you what you need, believe them. I'm sorry, but the whole "I'll still be here for you" while still hoping in the back of your mind that one day they'll be indebted to you for your support....ain't gonna work.
I'm not trying to kill dreams here, but just trying to say, if you allow the lies to go on too long, you'll start to feel like a victim of love and be around here like Amy Winehouse, calling love a losing game.
Don't be in love by yourself. If you are, you better off letting whoever that is go and just being in love with yourself.
Until next time,
♥ Shay
P.S. -- If you already think love is a losing game, check out Amy below:
I was reading --->THIS over at jaychanelle's page. No, definitely go read it...the girl is on her ish. Anyway, she starts talking about how relationships are not 50/50, an how sometimes you have to bend for the other. This is a truth I acknowledge and agree fully with. But I, along with a bunch of experienced people, can tell you that sometimes this can become a guise for being in love all by yourself.
So what does it mean to be in love by yourself? It's when you feel like you're the only person who
These are all false. Not to steal jaychanelle's thunder, but if someone is really serious about being in a relationship, they make the time. They'll find a way to juggle homework and quality time for you. And they learn how to says "thank you" or, as they should, reciprocate the feelings. Being in love by yourself might make you look like a hero in some way--fighting for love despite the lack of help--but you're not. You're just weighing yourself down.
I won't discount the people who have stuck it through, even when they were getting nothing, and are now stronger than ever. This is the exception. Too often, it's not until they are in jeopardy of losing something that people finally make the choice to give support in the relationship. My question is: if it takes the threat of losing you (especially if this has to happen repeatedly) for someone to be the type of mate you need, do you really want to be with them?
Like I said before, I don't want to have to do this again. I've done it, and it can weaken you, it can weaken your trust in relationships. Don't let yourself be subject to it. Even more, don't put yourself through it. If a guy or girl tells you that they're not ready for a relationship or they can't give you what you need, believe them. I'm sorry, but the whole "I'll still be here for you" while still hoping in the back of your mind that one day they'll be indebted to you for your support....ain't gonna work.
I'm not trying to kill dreams here, but just trying to say, if you allow the lies to go on too long, you'll start to feel like a victim of love and be around here like Amy Winehouse, calling love a losing game.
Don't be in love by yourself. If you are, you better off letting whoever that is go and just being in love with yourself.
Until next time,
♥ Shay
P.S. -- If you already think love is a losing game, check out Amy below:
Sunday, December 6
As Promised, A Poem
Hello Loves!
For the rest of my college students, good luck with your finals! I know I'm drowning in them now!
Anywho, as promised, I have poem for you guys! Please, leave feedback and comments on it, as it all means a bunch to me. I performed this poem this past Friday at Open Mic at my school, and I loved the feedback I got there. I hope you guys enjoy!
Oh, P.S.-- if you see something interesting in the ad link boxes, don't be afraid to click on them! I promise they're not spam! Also, it helps me earns a little change in the process...so it's harmless for all involved....
♥ Shay
So Cliché
I used to think these poems were about you
And you still do, don't you?
Even when it’s you, these are still my feelings
It just needs to be known that iFeel
Still,
Not being able to get over you is embarrassing.
like spinach in your teeth
shower singing on live TV
like tripping UP the stairs
multiple times, no alcohol
like needing the ingredient list to Mac and cheese
Some things should be obvious and easily avoided but you
You linger.
like smoke in fabric
Newport’s in my sheets bugging me out of my sleep
like dust in the air
you linger like a hangover the next morning
or the squealing ring from last night's loud music
like people with nowhere else to be
all proof of When Pleasure takes a Sharp Left and becomes A Pain in the Ass...
also: like wallets of me and you from semi's and formals
like that teddy bear you gave me that my mom refuses to throw away
or all those poems I wrote when you weren't my pain in the ass
Damn, I wish you'd go away
like I wish away pimples
like I wish I wasn't a girl every 21-23 days
like I wish away st. louis rains and winds, bad little cousins,
nightmares, and headaches
like I wish away being broke, like I wish away my fear of trusting again,
like I wish away those damn papers I should be writing right now
These clichés are for a cliché topic you
as you were (oops) as you are
all talk not many actions
declarations of love acts of selfishness
all get no give
Still, you charming, better than subpar but far from being worthwhile
I be damned if we don't love the classics.
And the classics die hard:
you will be back again
before bell-bottoms return
before people stop praising all-things-Beyonce
before another dumb ass tries to single-handedly take over Russia
and you'll try to inch and squirm back to where you used to be
and be 'just friends' until you think I'm your only option left
honestly, a twinge of me guiltily enjoys you
like a second piece of cake
like reading somebody else's diary
like knowing the words to a Miley Cyrus or Gucci Mane song
(but just a little, so don't get crazy or all caught up in your emotions)
I'm just saying the dumb shit you do tickles me!
Typical like clichés everywhere I turn
and as annoying as you are, I can't get you
or these damn clichés
far away from me
Guess I just gotta suck it up and find a way to live with you
like bad ass drivers
like dumb smart people
like paying taxes
like my momma
like criminals
like red lipstick on cheeks left by old church ladies
like ParkMudd ice cream stealers
LIKE SMART DUMB PEOPLE
and etc.
Wednesday, October 14
I'm Not Ruined, Just a Little Wounded :-(
Going through my Google Reader, I came across this article over at Fly Guy Chronicles, and I really felt a need to respond to it. What better place than my blog?
I don't feel like someone can "ruin" you, but it can wound your emotions for a long time. In relationships, we take so many injuries to our emotions with silence, because we're taught to pick and choose our battles in the world of love. Well, if the injuries come too frequently with no room to heal, then you just get burned out. So I can relate to the woman who said that she was just too drained to not put too much energy into another person. Word.
I don't know what my point is with this, except to say that I've felt that way before. Lol. But it's not fair to treat the next like the ex. <--yeah homie, i'm rhyming!
Oh, the question about if it's cocky to ask if you "ruined" someone. Idk, I feel like that's a respectable characteristic, to want to be aware of your past flaws. And sometimes, I feel like it's a good time to give that other person a chance to say what they really felt, because like I said, people choose their battles in relationships. I've had ex's asked me what they did right and what they did wrong in the past, and I think it gave us both a good sigh of relief. I don't know if it counts that I broke off the relationships or not. But I only break off because it always ends up that I'm quietly suffocating what the other person is oblivious or unable to change their ways.
Does that make me the victim then?
Who knows. I don't see myself as a victim. Misunderstood, maybe. But not a victim.
Anyway, enough on relationships and such tonight, just needed to share. BUT:
I don't feel like someone can "ruin" you, but it can wound your emotions for a long time. In relationships, we take so many injuries to our emotions with silence, because we're taught to pick and choose our battles in the world of love. Well, if the injuries come too frequently with no room to heal, then you just get burned out. So I can relate to the woman who said that she was just too drained to not put too much energy into another person. Word.
I don't know what my point is with this, except to say that I've felt that way before. Lol. But it's not fair to treat the next like the ex. <--yeah homie, i'm rhyming!
Oh, the question about if it's cocky to ask if you "ruined" someone. Idk, I feel like that's a respectable characteristic, to want to be aware of your past flaws. And sometimes, I feel like it's a good time to give that other person a chance to say what they really felt, because like I said, people choose their battles in relationships. I've had ex's asked me what they did right and what they did wrong in the past, and I think it gave us both a good sigh of relief. I don't know if it counts that I broke off the relationships or not. But I only break off because it always ends up that I'm quietly suffocating what the other person is oblivious or unable to change their ways.
Does that make me the victim then?
Who knows. I don't see myself as a victim. Misunderstood, maybe. But not a victim.
Anyway, enough on relationships and such tonight, just needed to share. BUT:
Feel free to give me your perspective. Do you feel like you can ruin or be ruined by someone?
In other news, I'm still looking for a boo. :-)
Just Kidding! Lmao. I'm chilling.
♥ Shay
In other news, I'm still looking for a boo. :-)
Just Kidding! Lmao. I'm chilling.
♥ Shay
Tuesday, July 14
Who Completes Me?
Let's get something straight.
With that said, I wanted to talk about a major error in relationship mentalities:
You complete me.
We love to hear people say it to their mates. We long for the day to say it to someone. When they say it in love stories, we go "aawww!"
But we shouldn't. This is not a good thing!
Now, before you start labeling me as a bitter young lady, just listen.
A pastor once came to our worship service at my college. We were talking about relationships, and he's the one that brought up the point that we shouldn't look for someone to complete us. The truth is...you should be complete before you ever try to find someone to be with. If you look at your life and say, "Something's missing," then don't try to fill it with a person! It probably means something is missing, and you should figure out what it is about your world that is leaving you feeling like that.
Look at it this way: if you have a "hole" in your life, and you fill it with someone, you become attached to that person prematurely. You're so occupied with making sure your "hole" is filled that you fail to evaluate what you're filling it with. And when that person leaves, what are you left with?
A bigger hole than you had at first. You will have given this someone some of yourself [time, energy, intimacy, etc] that you'll feel like you can't get back.
Instead, after you're pretty complete and confident on your own, find someone to complement you. Granted, this should be a person who doesn't need completing as well.
Let's briefly clear a misconception though:
Being complete does not equal being perfect.
It doesn't mean that you have to wait to finish school, find the perfect job, have your own place, have your own car, and etc. If that what works for you, then by all means, do it. But these are not absolute terms of being complete.Completing yourself is a mental confidence and assurance you have to have before you go along meshing your life with someone else's.
If you're not over your ex, you're not complete. If you get in a relationship in this state, you're just be replacing the last one with the next one, and the pain will build. If you have self-esteem issues, fix that before you move on. Because you'll use the next guy/girl's affection as a substitute for the confidence you should have yourself. This won't seem like a problem in the midst of the relationship, but if things ever get rocky, it will all come crashing down. If you haven't made serious decisions about your life [how long do I want to be in school? when am i comfortable having sex? what do I look for in a guy/girl?] then you should answer those questions for yourself. If you don't, someone else will answer them for you.
I've had to learn a lot of this the hard way, and I'm still in the process of learning. Like I said, I'm not perfect. To be honest, I don't think I'm complete at the moment. But I'm working towards it.
Fill your own holes people. Don't let someone else fill them for you.
**oh, in case in needs to be said, this is my own opinion and perspective. the only idea that has been borrowed is the idea of being complemented vs completed. the interpretation of this is my own.**
♥ Shay
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