A small girl with a big mind. Writer at the core, so many other things on top. College girl trying to make it. Curiously exploring all things concerning poetry, love, writing, colleging, growing up, hair, and media.
For now.
As always, ask about me.
My new blog home is url is http://alloveshaygore.tumblr.com/
I think there are some features about blogger that I will miss, but I really just enjoy the interface of Tumblr and the quick and easy options it offers for posting. So like when I wanna share quotes, or just put a picture up, I can.
Oh, and don't worry about not seeing the older posts anymore.... I've moved them all over to tumblr if you ever want to revisit them. The only problem is that the comments are gone, so that'll be gone.
I hope you guys will support my choice and follow me. And I'll try not to move too soon.
In my defense though, it's been about a year with Blogger! Not bad in my opinion!
So this is not goodbye, just see you later :-)
AND HURRY UP BECAUSE I'VE ALREADY STARTED POSTING THERE!
K,Thanx!
So my summer life has officially began. Today was my first day getting up with somewhere to go. But it didn't last long, and I was left with the blaring question of: what to do? The answers I had for myself were overwhelming. I wanted to read, and write, and I wanted to turn in books to the library, and the list goes on and on.
But 1) it was hella hot outside and 2) I was scared I was gonna run out of things to do.
In my defense, though, I did take the night to finish making finishing touches to my hair (which will be in an upcoming post), so that's where most of my time went. And I finished reading a book! But this general lack of emptiness around me is a little unsettling. It's bad enough that I already sometimes have bouts of self-induced mental loneliness, and now my surroundings are mimicking the inside. This empty suite, empty campus...plus a couple of other empty things... I really got to not let this get to me.
I'm pretty sure I just need to get in the swing of things. So, as always, I'm excited for an influx of STUFF to do, even though I know when it happens I'm gonna feel overwhelmed. ::shrug:: The circle of life at its best.
Made me realize, I'm scared of lonely, #noBeyonce. I don't like having an empty life. Like I always need work, or friendships, or a hobby or a boyfriend or something to keep me occupied. When I have too much free time I have to start pondering stuff that I'd decided to leave in the past. It's not always bad, since sometimes good stuff comes out of it.
Like today, I decided it was time to forgive someone. It was someone who's hurt me, although I'm not sure if they're aware or not that they did. And if they are aware, I think they're still too ruthless to even be concerned about it. but it's fine. Because I thought I'd left it alone when I decided that I hated strongly disliked them. But you haven't really moved on until you get to the stage of nonchalance, meaning, not caring. Because hating takes just as much energy as loving. And I have finally entered the stage of nonchalance.
Anyway, that was a random update. Long story short, I'm just ready to be busy and occupied again. And I need to be sleep! AAAHHH!
This poem was inspired by a venting session with my bestie and my Scorp. A mesh of fact and fiction, the hypothetical and the actual, people you know and people you never heard of. So you don't have to ask me who this is about :-) Enjoy!
Love Me or Leave Me Alone
Love me or leave me alone
...didn't understand it until now
you taunting me with your new gf
Yet still keeping in touch with me...
Love me or leave me alone
Apologizing for falling out of touch
And still keeping yourself distanced
Helps nothing but my irritation and questions
Love me or leave me alone
Both simultaneously isn't an option
I've already proved my commitment
Honestly I'm tired of trying and losing
Pulling me down this endless road
The fucked up part is-- I care so much
I'd just about let you, too.
Love me or leave me alone
You're holding up progress to my happiness
You can be a part of that picture or not;
Give me an answer before I snap...
Beating around the bush
Trying to have me and her
Popping up when your life's convenient.
Being a woman in a feeling
Doesn't obligate me to wait
And waiting ain't wising you up
So let me explicitly say:
Love Me or Leave Me Alone
Hoping for the former
Praying it ain't the latter
Grateful for an answer
if you give me either.
So last year I did a note on lessons I learned from Freshmen year. (Link >>> here)
Well, I decided it was time to do it again. So here goes.
1. Your REAL friends return for another year. You all might get busy and start to miss each other, but no one forgets about the other.
2. New friends come along, and if they belong, they just FIT. Meaning, you don't feel like you're forced to change for them.
3. Sophomore year comes and you start to see the snakes in the grass.
4. It's amusing watching freshmen learn the same lessons you learned.
5. Some people have never had to financially take care of themselves before. So they don't understand questions like "How much is your cell phone bill?" or statements like "I need gas money."
6. Declaring a major is hard because you have to start thinking about real life.
7. People are [STILL] there to help you. Just because you're not a freshmen anymore doesn't mean you won't still need someone to talk to you, to tutor you, to help you study, etc.
8. Even I, with all my flaws, has something to teach someone.
9. Mentoring is so amazing! And it's not just about what you can teach, but also what you can learn.
10. When people do wrong by you, the feeling that follows hurt is apathy.
11. There are still reasons left not to give up on the male species. There are some out there that are true gentlemen.
12. Dress for yourself. Because if you don't dress up, people got something to say. If you do dress up, people got all the questions in the world about where you going and who you dressing up for.
13. Good friends can support you, even if they don't understand.
14. Too much alcohol - food = bad idea.
15. The best birthdays are with good friends.
16.The world thinks that successful black women can't get married.
17. Sometimes, the people who look they're trying to be a part of the solution are the whole damn problem to begin with.
18. You get burned out on lower BD food before the first semester is over.
19. Nikki Giovanni is so real, I can understand why the FBI might have had her on a list.
20. Shihan is still fine, even though he is married with kids, and he cut his hair off.
21. Family Guy, after you get used to the humor, is your favoritest show to watch at two in the morning.
22. Pastor Kearney Thomas is HIGHlarious lmao. But also somewhat of an embarrassment.
23. Twitter brings drama that we haven't seen since the invention of the picture phone. (see video below for clarification)
24. The things your parents don't know about you grows and grows. But it's not so bad now because you're getting old enough to make choices like that.
25. Waking up is sometimes harder than just staying up.
26. Sometimes you have not because you ask not. So just ask.
27. Every new year in hip-hop and rap makes you wonder how people like Waka and Soulja boy are making all the money, and people like B.O.B. and Wale are struggling.
28. I look good with bangs
29. You have to learn to give yourself more credit for your accomplishments. Most people are so busy with their own lives that everyone doesn't always have time to stop and pat you on the back.
30. People who support you make time to help you cope.
31. A blender makes dull Friday nights so much better.
32. Hulu and Netflix gives your computer a whole new purpose.
33. God's grace and mercy is so real, even when you're too busy to believe it.
34. People read my blog! ♥
35. You just got to live your life the way that makes you happy. If you do that, don't let the other ish get too deep under your skin, and know that everything happens for a reason, you paint yourself a beautiful life.
I'm stopping at 35 this year. ♥ Thanks to everyone who has helped me learn this year and have been with me throughout the school year; I love you all: Jacqui, Chavelle, Lamar, Ryadah, Jerrica, Riean, Twin BayBay, Liz, Ms. LaShawnda, J-Strong, Portia, Natalie, Teaire, my Mommy!, my Daddy! ..............and any other names I forgot, insert here _________!
Leave your comments and your lessons learned!
♥ Shay
Hey all, I know you haven't heard from me in a while, but I promise that it is not entirely all my fault!
School has been so hectic, and I just haven't had that much time to spare on my blog.
My Bad, I do better, I promise :-)
Anyway, here are some things you've missed:
1. I met Nikki Giovanni and I love her even more.
2. I've decided to go natural. More details on that later.
3. I'll be in St. Louis for the summer, working, RAing, and summer schooling.
4. I'm getting Lucie (my car!) back. But I'm going to rename her :-)
5. I went home this weekend and had a really good time and regained some sanity.
6. I am in the process of a closet and clothes overhaul.
Okay, that's it for now. I will talk to you all soon! It's a promise!
