Lessons From Sophomore Year

So last year I did a note on lessons I learned from Freshmen year. (Link >>> here)

Well, I decided it was time to do it again. So here goes.

1. Your REAL friends return for another year. You all might get busy and start to miss each other, but no one forgets about the other.
2. New friends come along, and if they belong, they just FIT. Meaning, you don't feel like you're forced to change for them.
3. Sophomore year comes and you start to see the snakes in the grass.
4. It's amusing watching freshmen learn the same lessons you learned.
5. Some people have never had to financially take care of themselves before. So they don't understand questions like "How much is your cell phone bill?" or statements like "I need gas money."
6. Declaring a major is hard because you have to start thinking about real life.
7. People are [STILL] there to help you. Just because you're not a freshmen anymore doesn't mean you won't still need someone to talk to you, to tutor you, to help you study, etc.
8. Even I, with all my flaws, has something to teach someone.
9. Mentoring is so amazing! And it's not just about what you can teach, but also what you can learn.
10. When people do wrong by you, the feeling that follows hurt is apathy.
11. There are still reasons left not to give up on the male species. There are some out there that are true gentlemen.
12. Dress for yourself. Because if you don't dress up, people got something to say. If you do dress up, people got all the questions in the world about where you going and who you dressing up for.
13. Good friends can support you, even if they don't understand.
14. Too much alcohol - food = bad idea.
15. The best birthdays are with good friends.
16.The world thinks that successful black women can't get married.
17. Sometimes, the people who look they're trying to be a part of the solution are the whole damn problem to begin with.
18. You get burned out on lower BD food before the first semester is over.
19. Nikki Giovanni is so real, I can understand why the FBI might have had her on a list.
20. Shihan is still fine, even though he is married with kids, and he cut his hair off.
21. Family Guy, after you get used to the humor, is your favoritest show to watch at two in the morning.
22. Pastor Kearney Thomas is HIGHlarious lmao. But also somewhat of an embarrassment.
23. Twitter brings drama that we haven't seen since the invention of the picture phone. (see video below for clarification)



24. The things your parents don't know about you grows and grows. But it's not so bad now because you're getting old enough to make choices like that.
25. Waking up is sometimes harder than just staying up.
26. Sometimes you have not because you ask not. So just ask.
27. Every new year in hip-hop and rap makes you wonder how people like Waka and Soulja boy are making all the money, and people like B.O.B. and Wale are struggling.
28. I look good with bangs

29. You have to learn to give yourself more credit for your accomplishments. Most people are so busy with their own lives that everyone doesn't always have time to stop and pat you on the back.
30. People who support you make time to help you cope.
31. A blender makes dull Friday nights so much better.
32. Hulu and Netflix gives your computer a whole new purpose.
33. God's grace and mercy is so real, even when you're too busy to believe it.
34. People read my blog! ♥
35. You just got to live your life the way that makes you happy. If you do that, don't let the other ish get too deep under your skin, and know that everything happens for a reason, you paint yourself a beautiful life.

I'm stopping at 35 this year. ♥ Thanks to everyone who has helped me learn this year and have been with me throughout the school year; I love you all:
Jacqui, Chavelle, Lamar, Ryadah, Jerrica, Riean, Twin BayBay, Liz, Ms. LaShawnda, J-Strong, Portia, Natalie, Teaire, my Mommy!, my Daddy! ..............and any other names I forgot, insert here _________!

Leave your comments and your lessons learned!
♥ Shay

An Update

Hey Loves---
I know that I've been MIA for a while, and I'm sorry. To be quite honest, life as been a little more rocky that I've been able to easily manage, so I've been living task to task for a couple of weeks.

But there's nothing like a sunny Monday to renew your strength :-)

I won't go into details, but just know that I'm currently in a place where my life and my future is a little hazy. And though it looks like it depends on me, these choices coming up aren't totally in my hands. Well, that's the way I feel...

Another idea I'm exploring: maybe I'm not doing what I truly want. I mean, I think there was a point in my life where I didn't really trust my own judgement about making my life decisions, so I took someone's good idea for my life and owned it. And was pretty satisfied with doing that for as long as I didn't have that many problems. But thinking about it, I let go of many of the real dreams I had a long time ago. And though people say "just do you" it's more complicated than that.

"ME" is essentially what people have given me. It's not the same as someone reluctantly wanting what someone has given them and owning it to look like what they really want. So for me to "just do me" means going back to square one, going after my passion and making no compromises. It means totally reassessing who I am and where I see myself going.

It's a scary jump, yo.

And right now I don't know if it's worth it. I'm so far in with the path I'm on, I don't know if I'm actually bold enough to retrace my steps.

::Sigh::

it's not the end of the world, and i believed doing what i love is important. but i also believe that i can learn to love something....

give me time you guys.

♥ Shay

Coffee, No Cream, Please

Actually, I can't even drink coffee...gives me anxiety attacks.

But the title comes from the often-used phrase, "Milk in my Coffee," usually referring to interracial dating and the such. This topic, ladies and gentlemen, is brought to you by way of this article over at Three Ways to Take It. I won't do the article an injustice by trying to summarize it. As always, I highly encourage you to go read it yourself if you're interested.


But I said all that to say...that I felt a need to respond to this one. So, for your enjoyment, what I have to say about alot of stuff, especially being a black [almost] woman and all these messages telling me to date outside the box:

March 8, 2010 at 12:42 am
Although I’m sure this is a conversation for much more “grown people,” I couldn’t resist commenting.


In my short 20 years of life and “relationships,” I haven’t actually considered dating outside my race. Even attending a PWI, where the black community is small and filled with enough drama to create a Lifetime movie, I still have a strong passion for black love.


I’m not racist, but there isn’t anything attractive about white men to me. I will admit to have a small crush on Puerto Rican dudes, but that’s another story. I love and appreciate each and every culture that makes this world of ours go round, but…I have yet to meet someone outside my race that catches my attention and makes me want to pursue them.


And yes, I have noticed the interracial talk seems to get more and more spark every day. Everywhere I turn, it seems to say that the only options I have as a black woman is to be a ghetto hood chick that wants a thug, or become educated and successful and turn into a bitch that looks down on all black men. It’s like a black woman with any type of intellect will find herself strongly disappointed with black male prospects. And I find it to be far from the truth.


I think black men and women need to quit giving up so easily on each other. We’ll keep having problems if everybody nags and no one listens to the other. And men and women are just that, no matter what their race or culture is. Dating outside your race doesn’t erase the relationship problems.


I, too, am fine with what people choose to do, as long as they’re happy and not dragging someone else down in the process. I just know that [when] I daydream about being swept of my feet one day….I mean, when I think about my future…it’s usually me with a black guy.


Shay, the college girl.

That's Just How I Like It ::Kanye shrug::


So uh...how do you like your coffee? Or do you even life coffee? And am I the only one who reads the messages out there like this?


As always, with ♥
♥ Shay

Good News, Good Thoughts...

Hey bloggers... I have a lot of good news in this post...no negativity.

First of all, I applied for two positions for next year, and I got them BOTH! I will be a TRIO Leader and an RA! Whoop whoop! These two positions will really give me a chance to be involved in the WashU community and give me the outlet to help people the way I want to. It's helping me with my college goal of leaving my imprint on this school in some way.

Also, I'm still loving my friends. For days. They're the one's who love me even when I make foolish mistakes. And they're the ones whose back I will always have. We can be silly together, listen to each others problems, and help solve them if need be. :-)

I have a (re)New(ed) motivation to get my life together, to do what I need to do. And I know that sounds cliche, but when you've been in place where you truly thought you weren't worthy of being or was sure that the only end was failure, then you know that this drive to keep it moving and press forward in confidence is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Even something simple as needing a new laptop battery--God is making a way for it to happen. 

My sister is being blessed too! New car, new job, a slight raise! it makes me happy to see her happy. So yayyy!

There are some other things too, but I'll stop there.

In general, I'm just grateful. In the scope of life in general, I know that some don't have it as well as I do, and to a large degree, I'm not worthy. I'll just continue to take them as they come, and not take anything for granted.

Valentine's Day + Love + My Life + Take Notes

This is one of the best Valentine's Day of the 21 that I've had. And it's not just because of what I got from somebody...it's also because of the general state of my life at the moment. Things are well, and I'm so grateful for that in itself.
Some things of note today:

I woke up to these at my door :-)

Then I was able to have a really good brunch with two of my friends. The food was good and the conversation was better! Shoutouts to JG and LJ! 

Also, I have two formspring questions that I answered today that I want to share with you guys.

The first one:

Q: Who is someone at WashU that you look up to? Preferably an upperclassman/woman..

A: so i accidentally deleted my first answer to this...so this one won't be as prolific lol. I feel that there are many upperclassmen women that have done great and amazing things for me, and I LOVE ALL THEM SO FREAKING MUCH. For all the good advice and consoling and nights of hanging out together. It makes me feel all warm inside. With that being said, I don't want to name all of them because I know I'll probably forget someone, and I don't want to name just one because I know that there are so many more that I would have to acknowledge.

These are not lies you guys. Lol. I'm so grateful for the people that I've met at WashU that have been such a great support system and some of them just a lot of freaking fun!


The next:

Q: Do you believe in true love? Like the kind that lasts forever? And do you think you've found it yet?

A: I've found true love in God...because my relationship with him is the prototype for all my other relationships of love. 

Yes, I do believe in true love. I'm a sucker for love, and just becoming knowledgeable in the many shapes and guises and posers of love. I believe that there is love that lasts forever, even if it does seem rare for the my generation and the generation after us...but I think it just takes a little longer to learn :-)

I don't know if I've found true love. I feel that true love has the power to stay with you through MANY phases of life... Since I've been dating, I would say my life has only had one or two phases. So I don't know if my true love is already here or if I have yet to find it... And I don't think I've had enough trails to test the durability of it either. Give me a couple more years and see what I think then... I'll have more experience and evidence by then.

I think that one is pretty explanatory. I talk about love enough and have plenty of past posts for you to know a little bit more about that.


And finally, this was on my twitter feed, and I had to RT it and post it here. 

For you dudes who don't like Trey Songz, just get past your feelings for a minute and realize the validity of these words... #imjustsayin


I know alot of this stuff has come up because it's Valentine's Day, and I know all of it is because of life being a freeway with many overlapping lanes, etc. But it was just cool how all of this has kind of fallen together in one day and how I'm a pretty happy girl at the moment. Go me!


I hope you were able to spot the love and find some appreciation in this day too, whether single or together. The love in our lives comes in so many forms, don't worry about getting caught up in just one. Love is a shape-shifter.


♥ (and not just because of the holiday!)
Shay


P.S.: it wasn't until this post that I realized I didn't have a tag for happiness. How'd that happen?


Also, I was reminded of this video. It's called "For You" by David Ryan Harris. Enjoy it!

Back in Session

So school is back in session. Been that way for about a week now. I have been swamped beyond belief. I promise, if it wasn't for Google Calendar and my iPhone, I would be screwed.

Anyway, my current goals for the semester are just to get some healthy habits in my life. Like waking up at the same time in the morning, though going to sleep is currently a #fail. Oh well, no one's perfect, and I won't change overnight.

I'm kind of in a blah place right now. I don't really get to see much of anyone I'm close to, seeing as how we're all so busy that we are always on the run. I guess that's why it's good to be active in college. Because if you're not busy with your own agenda, you start to feel neglected because of someone else's schedule.

No worries, mine is full. Which is why I'm mad at myself for letting 3am sneak up on me with not work done. This is NOT okay. I have got to get some rest.

To everyone else, hold on out there in the college battle. Or life battles! All you have to know is that persistence can pick up the slack wherever you might have it.

♥ Shay