Tuesday, March 29
It is a hard decision. And I've been praying that God would show me what to do, or at least give me confirmation of what I should be doing. And it feels like God isn't answering me right now. It isn't saying no or yes, it seems. It's like he's giving me the free will to make my choice. Crazy thing is, this is the time where I don't want the decions! I'm screaming, Jesus take the wheel and give me a big, clear sign of what you need for me to do. Because if God points me in the right direction, I can make myself with whatever from here on out. But if I do it... well, I've been known to get things wrong. Often.
I know this is all a part of growing up, but this ish is tough!
Saturday, March 26
I guess it hurts because the loneliness makes me feel inadequate. Like its my fault I'm alone.
Like its my fault I didn't make any of them happy.
Like it's all my fault. Maybe it is. That's how it feels at least.
If only my heart did substitutions, I'd trade this longing into optimism.
And maybe I could finally get over the hill I made from the hole I dug.
Thursday, March 24
Monday, March 21
Which is really just a nice way of saying you bumped your head on a hard truth. The absence of God from my life makes for a congested but lonely life. Some things that are bad for you God won't take away-- instead he'll leave it for you to take out your own trash. And that success has failure at something else embedded into it.
Saturday, March 19
Friday, March 18
Let's stroll in the sunshine
And play in the rain.
Love sex and pain
are grown folks thangs
So don't jump in today
If you're not gonna stay.
My loyalty is intuituve
I'm into you, I'll stick with you
I'll give it all to you
I'll do it all for you
With the assurance
that you'd do it for me too.
We can be a duo, I know
Where we can go
We'll be flyer
than red-breasted robins
robbing haters of envy
And spending the chump change
On helping chumps change
We can be movements by ourselves
And revolutions when we're together
We might stir a war and pop shots
In the middle of our own joy
But we don't need cops to reconcile
love makes us both fools and friends
and we mend like the carpenter who taught us
that our pain is inevitable in this game
but our embrace is the perfect solace.
i know we will be just fine.
come hell or high waters
we'll go blow for blow with the bull
round after round in the bed
and now and forever in this life, together.
Tuesday, March 15
Monday, May 31
....to Tumblr, that is :-)
My new blog home is url is http://alloveshaygore.tumblr.com/
I think there are some features about blogger that I will miss, but I really just enjoy the interface of Tumblr and the quick and easy options it offers for posting. So like when I wanna share quotes, or just put a picture up, I can.
Oh, and don't worry about not seeing the older posts anymore.... I've moved them all over to tumblr if you ever want to revisit them. The only problem is that the comments are gone, so that'll be gone.
I hope you guys will support my choice and follow me. And I'll try not to move too soon.
In my defense though, it's been about a year with Blogger! Not bad in my opinion!
So this is not goodbye, just see you later :-)
AND HURRY UP BECAUSE I'VE ALREADY STARTED POSTING THERE!
Tuesday, May 25
So my summer life has officially began. Today was my first day getting up with somewhere to go. But it didn't last long, and I was left with the blaring question of: what to do? The answers I had for myself were overwhelming. I wanted to read, and write, and I wanted to turn in books to the library, and the list goes on and on.
But 1) it was hella hot outside and 2) I was scared I was gonna run out of things to do.
In my defense, though, I did take the night to finish making finishing touches to my hair (which will be in an upcoming post), so that's where most of my time went. And I finished reading a book! But this general lack of emptiness around me is a little unsettling. It's bad enough that I already sometimes have bouts of self-induced mental loneliness, and now my surroundings are mimicking the inside. This empty suite, empty campus...plus a couple of other empty things... I really got to not let this get to me.
I'm pretty sure I just need to get in the swing of things. So, as always, I'm excited for an influx of STUFF to do, even though I know when it happens I'm gonna feel overwhelmed. ::shrug:: The circle of life at its best.
Made me realize, I'm scared of lonely, #noBeyonce. I don't like having an empty life. Like I always need work, or friendships, or a hobby or a boyfriend or something to keep me occupied. When I have too much free time I have to start pondering stuff that I'd decided to leave in the past. It's not always bad, since sometimes good stuff comes out of it.
Like today, I decided it was time to forgive someone. It was someone who's hurt me, although I'm not sure if they're aware or not that they did. And if they are aware, I think they're still too ruthless to even be concerned about it. but it's fine. Because I thought I'd left it alone when I decided that I
Anyway, that was a random update. Long story short, I'm just ready to be busy and occupied again. And I need to be sleep! AAAHHH!