Tuesday, May 25

Me, Myself, and I: Feels Like Day 1

Hey you guys,

So my summer life has officially began. Today was my first day getting up with somewhere to go. But it didn't last long, and I was left with the blaring question of: what to do? The answers I had for myself were overwhelming. I wanted to read, and write, and I wanted to turn in books to the library, and the list goes on and on.

But 1) it was hella hot outside and 2) I was scared I was gonna run out of things to do.

In my defense, though, I did take the night to finish making finishing touches to my hair (which will be in an upcoming post), so that's where most of my time went. And I finished reading a book! But this general lack of emptiness around me is a little unsettling. It's bad enough that I already sometimes have bouts of self-induced mental loneliness, and now my surroundings are mimicking the inside. This empty suite, empty campus...plus a couple of other empty things... I really got to not let this get to me.

I'm pretty sure I just need to get in the swing of things. So, as always, I'm excited for an influx of STUFF to do, even though I know when it happens I'm gonna feel overwhelmed. ::shrug:: The circle of life at its best.

Made me realize, I'm scared of lonely, #noBeyonce. I don't like having an empty life. Like I always need work, or friendships, or a hobby or a boyfriend or something to keep me occupied. When I have too much free time I have to start pondering stuff that I'd decided to leave in the past. It's not always bad, since sometimes good stuff comes out of it.

Like today, I decided it was time to forgive someone. It was someone who's hurt me, although I'm not sure if they're aware or not that they did. And if they are aware, I think they're still too ruthless to even be concerned about it. but it's fine. Because I thought I'd left it alone when I decided that I hated strongly disliked them. But you haven't really moved on until you get to the stage of nonchalance, meaning, not caring. Because hating takes just as much energy as loving. And I have finally entered the stage of nonchalance.

Anyway, that was a random update. Long story short, I'm just ready to be busy and occupied again. And I need to be sleep! AAAHHH!

:-) TTYouGuysLater
♥ Shay

1 comment:

Natalie said...

soooo iam need for you to keep this post in handy for next semester when you be around "woe is me"-ing. Love Ya :-D