A Writer's Fear

Words don't fail me now,
Not when I have so much to say
Come easily, don't fight me
There is so much at stake

Fingers to keys
Take this stress away from me
Scrawl the pain from my heart
Suck the poison from my mind
My emotions have waged a war on me
Words, if you don't help
I'm sure I'll be defeated.

The excessive love in my system
Is too much pressure on my heart
It's causing pains and malfunctions
Threatening to rip apart my heart
Expel it from my system
Investigate it on paper
Save my life, words,
So I can live to tell the story

Words are all I need to get better
If only they cooperate
No drugs, no drinks, no cuts
Returns my smile like a good poem
-Written by Moi

Writing is my therapy, and I love to write. People give me compliments a lot about my writing abilities, but there is always a need, a want, to improve and get better.
But there's usually something else: doubt.

definition: doubt.
A fluctuation of mind arising from defect of knowledge or evidence; uncertainty of judgment or mind; unsettled state of opinion concerning the reality of an event, or the truth of an assertion, etc.; hesitation.

Sometimes you can never be sure if you're making a difference with your writing. Many people read without giving feedback, and more often, people never get around to reading what you have to say at all.
Or you criticize yourself too much, wondering if you should have said it "that" way over the the way you actually expressed yourself. I don't know any writer who doesn't wonder that.

It's more than just writers though. Everyone has doubted themselves at points. Especially when the situation they're in dramatically contrasts with where they aspire to be.

An interesting quote to ponder:

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
Kahlil Gibran

Letting go of doubt, and latching on to faith is a good move to make. I don't try to make anyone do anything they don't want to do, but there are my opinions and my suggestions.

Doubt and faith both feed off the same thing: the unknown. How you react to the unknown determines whether you doubt or if you have faith.
When you panic, worry, and let the fact that you don't know what the future holds scare you, you doubt.
When you have confidence, believe everything is going to be fine, and perceive your future as the product of doing your very best, you have faith.

(Yes, this epiphany just came to me as I wrote. Lol. Even though part of me knew this all along...)

So writing is my therapy and it makes me feel better. Someone (or some people) out there enjoys my writing, what I do.
Therefore, I won't stop. Won't let my doubt override my faith. I'mma do me.

I'm gonna write.
Hearts and Love