Lessons From Sophomore Year

So last year I did a note on lessons I learned from Freshmen year. (Link >>> here)

Well, I decided it was time to do it again. So here goes.

1. Your REAL friends return for another year. You all might get busy and start to miss each other, but no one forgets about the other.
2. New friends come along, and if they belong, they just FIT. Meaning, you don't feel like you're forced to change for them.
3. Sophomore year comes and you start to see the snakes in the grass.
4. It's amusing watching freshmen learn the same lessons you learned.
5. Some people have never had to financially take care of themselves before. So they don't understand questions like "How much is your cell phone bill?" or statements like "I need gas money."
6. Declaring a major is hard because you have to start thinking about real life.
7. People are [STILL] there to help you. Just because you're not a freshmen anymore doesn't mean you won't still need someone to talk to you, to tutor you, to help you study, etc.
8. Even I, with all my flaws, has something to teach someone.
9. Mentoring is so amazing! And it's not just about what you can teach, but also what you can learn.
10. When people do wrong by you, the feeling that follows hurt is apathy.
11. There are still reasons left not to give up on the male species. There are some out there that are true gentlemen.
12. Dress for yourself. Because if you don't dress up, people got something to say. If you do dress up, people got all the questions in the world about where you going and who you dressing up for.
13. Good friends can support you, even if they don't understand.
14. Too much alcohol - food = bad idea.
15. The best birthdays are with good friends.
16.The world thinks that successful black women can't get married.
17. Sometimes, the people who look they're trying to be a part of the solution are the whole damn problem to begin with.
18. You get burned out on lower BD food before the first semester is over.
19. Nikki Giovanni is so real, I can understand why the FBI might have had her on a list.
20. Shihan is still fine, even though he is married with kids, and he cut his hair off.
21. Family Guy, after you get used to the humor, is your favoritest show to watch at two in the morning.
22. Pastor Kearney Thomas is HIGHlarious lmao. But also somewhat of an embarrassment.
23. Twitter brings drama that we haven't seen since the invention of the picture phone. (see video below for clarification)



24. The things your parents don't know about you grows and grows. But it's not so bad now because you're getting old enough to make choices like that.
25. Waking up is sometimes harder than just staying up.
26. Sometimes you have not because you ask not. So just ask.
27. Every new year in hip-hop and rap makes you wonder how people like Waka and Soulja boy are making all the money, and people like B.O.B. and Wale are struggling.
28. I look good with bangs

29. You have to learn to give yourself more credit for your accomplishments. Most people are so busy with their own lives that everyone doesn't always have time to stop and pat you on the back.
30. People who support you make time to help you cope.
31. A blender makes dull Friday nights so much better.
32. Hulu and Netflix gives your computer a whole new purpose.
33. God's grace and mercy is so real, even when you're too busy to believe it.
34. People read my blog! ♥
35. You just got to live your life the way that makes you happy. If you do that, don't let the other ish get too deep under your skin, and know that everything happens for a reason, you paint yourself a beautiful life.

I'm stopping at 35 this year. ♥ Thanks to everyone who has helped me learn this year and have been with me throughout the school year; I love you all:
Jacqui, Chavelle, Lamar, Ryadah, Jerrica, Riean, Twin BayBay, Liz, Ms. LaShawnda, J-Strong, Portia, Natalie, Teaire, my Mommy!, my Daddy! ..............and any other names I forgot, insert here _________!

Leave your comments and your lessons learned!
♥ Shay

Blagh....

Usually when Thursday comes I have some type of energy, because I know that if I can just make it to 8:00, my week of classes will be over. However, today ain't the case. I got about a good 7 hours of sleep, but I am exhausted right now. Slept through one class, probably gonna be a super dead in this next one....and let's not even get started on this 5:30-8:00 French.


Jesus, take the wheel. And I guess I'll finally get out this bed. But uh...it's still gonna be a longgg day.
I wish you all better than me,
♥ Shay

This is a Poemtry :-)

This was so impromptu...tell how you feel about it....

Just Guessing
wind hits windowpanes
thoughts hit the brain
what-if's and maybes
tap on my imagination
don't have answers
just ungranted wishes
wind turns to rain
questions turn the same
it could be maybe
it could happen possibly
there is no certainty
just fog and blur
inside and outside
mhmz...i wonder...

♥ Shay

As Promised, A Poem

Hello Loves!

For the rest of my college students, good luck with your finals! I know I'm drowning in them now!

Anywho, as promised, I have poem for you guys! Please, leave feedback and comments on it, as it all means a bunch to me. I performed this poem this past Friday at Open Mic at my school, and I loved the feedback I got there. I hope you guys enjoy!

Oh, P.S.-- if you see something interesting in the ad link boxes, don't be afraid to click on them! I promise they're not spam! Also, it helps me earns a little change in the process...so it's harmless for all involved....

♥ Shay

So Cliché

I used to think these poems were about you

And you still do, don't you?

Even when it’s you, these are still my feelings

It just needs to be known that iFeel

Still,

Not being able to get over you is embarrassing.

like spinach in your teeth

shower singing on live TV

like tripping UP the stairs

multiple times, no alcohol

like needing the ingredient list to Mac and cheese

Some things should be obvious and easily avoided but you

You linger.

like smoke in fabric

Newport’s in my sheets bugging me out of my sleep

like dust in the air

you linger like a hangover the next morning

or the squealing ring from last night's loud music

like people with nowhere else to be

all proof of When Pleasure takes a Sharp Left and becomes A Pain in the Ass...

also: like wallets of me and you from semi's and formals

like that teddy bear you gave me that my mom refuses to throw away

or all those poems I wrote when you weren't my pain in the ass

Damn, I wish you'd go away

like I wish away pimples

like I wish I wasn't a girl every 21-23 days

like I wish away st. louis rains and winds, bad little cousins,

nightmares, and headaches

like I wish away being broke, like I wish away my fear of trusting again,

like I wish away those damn papers I should be writing right now

These clichés are for a cliché topic you

as you were (oops) as you are

all talk not many actions

declarations of love acts of selfishness

all get no give

Still, you charming, better than subpar but far from being worthwhile

I be damned if we don't love the classics.

And the classics die hard:

you will be back again

before bell-bottoms return

before people stop praising all-things-Beyonce

before another dumb ass tries to single-handedly take over Russia

and you'll try to inch and squirm back to where you used to be

and be 'just friends' until you think I'm your only option left

honestly, a twinge of me guiltily enjoys you

like a second piece of cake

like reading somebody else's diary

like knowing the words to a Miley Cyrus or Gucci Mane song

(but just a little, so don't get crazy or all caught up in your emotions)

I'm just saying the dumb shit you do tickles me!

Typical like clichés everywhere I turn

and as annoying as you are, I can't get you

or these damn clichés

far away from me

Guess I just gotta suck it up and find a way to live with you

like bad ass drivers

like dumb smart people

like paying taxes

like my momma

like criminals

like red lipstick on cheeks left by old church ladies

like ParkMudd ice cream stealers

LIKE SMART DUMB PEOPLE

and etc.

Where's the poems?

I was talking with a friend of mine over Thanksgiving BREAK, and I realized...

I haven't posted any of my poetry in a while. And I concluded that it has much to do with my poetry writing class. The truth is, I'm writing more poetry now than ever before, but I'm just not publishing it anywhere. Also, the workshop sessions that we do--where about 12 other people (constructively) rip your work to pieces--does something to the ego. I'm not so anxious to deliver a poem here if I know it might suck. But I plan to change that. After finals are done (2 weeks!) I plan to get back in the habit of posting poems in search of some feedback. So be ready to give it!
To all the other college kids out there, good luck with finals, and hopefully I can give you all some tips in the next few days or so about how to stay calm in the midst of the storm.

♥ always
-Shay

Music and Birthday Gifts!

I heard this today on blogxilla and ybf today. Wale and Rihanna. I'm feeling it:

...in other news,
MY BIRTHDAY IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER! Feel free to send me gifts ;-)
These are my retail therapy picks from (and for) yours truly:

This is a baller ass Coach wristlet. I don't consider myself to be big on name brands, but I feel like this will be $50 well spent.

Also:

This strappy heels are over at Charlotte Russe for about $30 dollars. Yes please. the only question is this: Gold or Silver?

Other things I'm loving:

This dress from Forever 21. Well actually it's Faith21, for plus-sized ladies, but whatevs. It's magenta, and I feel like that's not a color I can say I definitely have. This would be especially baller with a nice cropped black jacket or something.

I'm considering getting a tat like this. :-)

And if life was perfect, I'd have this guy for my birthday:

Okay, that's all. :-)

Hollaaaaa,

♥ Shay

What I've Been Up To

My apologies everyone for not writing lately. Not doing a good job of keeping ya'll entertained am I?

Let me just say that I've had some eventful times lately. This is huge news because anyone that has talked to me lately knows how bored I've been in Memphis for the longest. The last couple of weeks have been really good to me though. I've been out a few times with friends, new and old. Possibly had some spirits...:-)....lifted that is. Just a good time.

One of my previous posts talked about lack of patience and how to get the time to past a little faster. A fellow blogger in the blogosphere- KT -- suggested that I live a little, following the famous motto that "Time flies when you're having fun." Well that's what's been happening! And the memories I've had the last couple of weeks are priceless. Before I realized it, August is sneaking up on me.

Life is just good right now. Financially, I'm still in a hole, and it's actually deeper. I had to pay for an optometrist appointment, have to pay on $200+ eyeglasses, and have a series of dentists' appointments coming up. PLUS I have to figure out how to get this stuff for school.
But none of that matters right now. Life is good. I have an amazing big sis, an adorable baby niece, even more nieces and nephews, parents who just celebrated a 32nd anniversary, a cousin who's still my right hand (wo)man when it comes to it, and some crazy/sexy/cool friends.

Why should I complain?

My big bro from WashU, Gerald (follow him here), wrote on the #howdareyou trend a couple days ago. The best: #howdareyou complain all the time. Life's too short for all that. That's how I'm feeling right now. What's the use of making your life and the ones around you suffer from your skewed perspective?

Get out and live! Take the bad if it comes your way. It'll make the good that much sweeter! Enjoy the time with old friends, and take the time to make new ones. And don't forget the smiles and the moments that make you smile. You'll need them on the dark nights.

So yeah. Pardon me for not writing. I've had a few issues brewing in me, but none that can be developed enough to post here. I don't know...I could just do a variety day and post it all. But you all will have to comment!

♥ and Peace,
Shay

Who Completes Me?

Let's get something straight.

I'm not that scared to admit my flaws. I'm far from perfect, and even a premature look at this blog can tell you that. And I don't think I'm holier than anyone.

With that said, I wanted to talk about a major error in relationship mentalities:

You complete me.

We love to hear people say it to their mates. We long for the day to say it to someone. When they say it in love stories, we go "aawww!"

But we shouldn't. This is not a good thing!

Now, before you start labeling me as a bitter young lady, just listen.

A pastor once came to our worship service at my college. We were talking about relationships, and he's the one that brought up the point that we shouldn't look for someone to complete us. The truth is...you should be complete before you ever try to find someone to be with. If you look at your life and say, "Something's missing," then don't try to fill it with a person! It probably means something is missing, and you should figure out what it is about your world that is leaving you feeling like that.

Look at it this way: if you have a "hole" in your life, and you fill it with someone, you become attached to that person prematurely. You're so occupied with making sure your "hole" is filled that you fail to evaluate what you're filling it with. And when that person leaves, what are you left with?
A bigger hole than you had at first. You will have given this someone some of yourself [time, energy, intimacy, etc] that you'll feel like you can't get back.

Instead, after you're pretty complete and confident on your own, find someone to complement you. Granted, this should be a person who doesn't need completing as well.

Let's briefly clear a misconception though:
Being complete does not equal being perfect.
It doesn't mean that you have to wait to finish school, find the perfect job, have your own place, have your own car, and etc. If that what works for you, then by all means, do it. But these are not absolute terms of being complete.Completing yourself is a mental confidence and assurance you have to have before you go along meshing your life with someone else's.

• If you're not over your ex, you're not complete. If you get in a relationship in this state, you're just be replacing the last one with the next one, and the pain will build.
• If you have self-esteem issues, fix that before you move on. Because you'll use the next guy/girl's affection as a substitute for the confidence you should have yourself. This won't seem like a problem in the midst of the relationship, but if things ever get rocky, it will all come crashing down.
• If you haven't made serious decisions about your life [how long do I want to be in school? when am i comfortable having sex? what do I look for in a guy/girl?] then you should answer those questions for yourself. If you don't, someone else will answer them for you.

None of this makes for less romance. It doesn't mean you can't look forward to a mate. It doesn't mean that someone isn't coming to sweep you off your feet or change your world. It just means that when they come, you'll be grounded and ready for take-off. Who wants to catch someone who's drifting?

I've had to learn a lot of this the hard way, and I'm still in the process of learning. Like I said, I'm not perfect. To be honest, I don't think I'm complete at the moment. But I'm working towards it.

Fill your own holes people. Don't let someone else fill them for you.

**oh, in case in needs to be said, this is my own opinion and perspective. the only idea that has been borrowed is the idea of being complemented vs completed. the interpretation of this is my own.**

♥ Shay

Blog Update, Changes

Hey all,

I've taken off comment moderation, which means that I don't have to approve them first.

And I also took off the word verification thingy. I tried to test it and it wasn't working right, so I took it off.

what does this mean?

Comments Comments Comments!

Also, thanks to all my followers. We're almost at 10! WhooHoo! Thanks for riding on me on this journey! I'll post a little later today...but now I'm about to take a break. :-)

♥ Shay

Never Can Say Goodbye...♥

My facebook thoughts on the MJ Memorial service:

Adrianne Shay Solace Gore How you gonna let Al Sharpton be your Family Adviser?!? Where they do that at?

Adrianne Shay Solace Gore I really dig the fact that John Mayer's doing this song...♥

Adrianne Shay Solace Gore Jackson family...please don't mimic the King children...don't get caught up fighting public battles over personal matters...

Adrianne Shay Solace Gore Dang...Michael stopped the House proceedings? Yeah, that's impressive.

Adrianne Shay Solace Gore Usher, who told you that you could leave the stage?!?

Adrianne Shay Solace Gore ♥ Loving Smokey even MORE right now ♥

Adrianne Shay Solace Gore shaheen jafargholi. killed it.

Adrianne Shay Solace Gore look at the kiddies!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

Adrianne Shay Solace Gore Love that they're playing "Man in the Mirror" instrumental as they carry out the casket.

Adrianne Shay Solace Gore They shined the light on the mic, and we waited expectantly, hoping they'd shine the light on Mike.... RIP Mr. Jackson...

Shoutouts to Imani over at Indulgence for the FB status idea! ♥

♥ Shay

A Writer's Fear

Words don't fail me now,
Not when I have so much to say
Come easily, don't fight me
There is so much at stake

Fingers to keys
Take this stress away from me
Scrawl the pain from my heart
Suck the poison from my mind
My emotions have waged a war on me
Words, if you don't help
I'm sure I'll be defeated.

The excessive love in my system
Is too much pressure on my heart
It's causing pains and malfunctions
Threatening to rip apart my heart
Expel it from my system
Investigate it on paper
Save my life, words,
So I can live to tell the story

Words are all I need to get better
If only they cooperate
No drugs, no drinks, no cuts
Returns my smile like a good poem
-Written by Moi

Writing is my therapy, and I love to write. People give me compliments a lot about my writing abilities, but there is always a need, a want, to improve and get better.
But there's usually something else: doubt.

definition: doubt.
A fluctuation of mind arising from defect of knowledge or evidence; uncertainty of judgment or mind; unsettled state of opinion concerning the reality of an event, or the truth of an assertion, etc.; hesitation.

Sometimes you can never be sure if you're making a difference with your writing. Many people read without giving feedback, and more often, people never get around to reading what you have to say at all.
Or you criticize yourself too much, wondering if you should have said it "that" way over the the way you actually expressed yourself. I don't know any writer who doesn't wonder that.

It's more than just writers though. Everyone has doubted themselves at points. Especially when the situation they're in dramatically contrasts with where they aspire to be.

An interesting quote to ponder:

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
Kahlil Gibran

Letting go of doubt, and latching on to faith is a good move to make. I don't try to make anyone do anything they don't want to do, but there are my opinions and my suggestions.

Doubt and faith both feed off the same thing: the unknown. How you react to the unknown determines whether you doubt or if you have faith.
When you panic, worry, and let the fact that you don't know what the future holds scare you, you doubt.
When you have confidence, believe everything is going to be fine, and perceive your future as the product of doing your very best, you have faith.

(Yes, this epiphany just came to me as I wrote. Lol. Even though part of me knew this all along...)

So writing is my therapy and it makes me feel better. Someone (or some people) out there enjoys my writing, what I do.
Therefore, I won't stop. Won't let my doubt override my faith. I'mma do me.

I'm gonna write.
Hearts and Love

Time to Start Again.

I decided to go ahead and make a new start at this blogging thing.

First off,
Welcome to all those who come by. I hope you'll find something enlightening, thought provoking, etc. that might stimulate you. I encourage you to subscribe/follow me, as you never know when something prolific might spill from my mouth. ::smile::

The only theme to this blog is Me. I know that sounds selfish and self absorbed, but here me out. Some days, there will be a short story. On other days, you'll find a poem. It might be a journaling of what I'm going through, or it might simply be an update on my hobbies or my niece. Can't really offer you consistency when all I'm doing is exploring the realms of who I am and what I'm going through.

So, cheers to us! That we may have fun on this journey. And that we can discover and learn together.