Lessons From Sophomore Year

So last year I did a note on lessons I learned from Freshmen year. (Link >>> here)

Well, I decided it was time to do it again. So here goes.

1. Your REAL friends return for another year. You all might get busy and start to miss each other, but no one forgets about the other.
2. New friends come along, and if they belong, they just FIT. Meaning, you don't feel like you're forced to change for them.
3. Sophomore year comes and you start to see the snakes in the grass.
4. It's amusing watching freshmen learn the same lessons you learned.
5. Some people have never had to financially take care of themselves before. So they don't understand questions like "How much is your cell phone bill?" or statements like "I need gas money."
6. Declaring a major is hard because you have to start thinking about real life.
7. People are [STILL] there to help you. Just because you're not a freshmen anymore doesn't mean you won't still need someone to talk to you, to tutor you, to help you study, etc.
8. Even I, with all my flaws, has something to teach someone.
9. Mentoring is so amazing! And it's not just about what you can teach, but also what you can learn.
10. When people do wrong by you, the feeling that follows hurt is apathy.
11. There are still reasons left not to give up on the male species. There are some out there that are true gentlemen.
12. Dress for yourself. Because if you don't dress up, people got something to say. If you do dress up, people got all the questions in the world about where you going and who you dressing up for.
13. Good friends can support you, even if they don't understand.
14. Too much alcohol - food = bad idea.
15. The best birthdays are with good friends.
16.The world thinks that successful black women can't get married.
17. Sometimes, the people who look they're trying to be a part of the solution are the whole damn problem to begin with.
18. You get burned out on lower BD food before the first semester is over.
19. Nikki Giovanni is so real, I can understand why the FBI might have had her on a list.
20. Shihan is still fine, even though he is married with kids, and he cut his hair off.
21. Family Guy, after you get used to the humor, is your favoritest show to watch at two in the morning.
22. Pastor Kearney Thomas is HIGHlarious lmao. But also somewhat of an embarrassment.
23. Twitter brings drama that we haven't seen since the invention of the picture phone. (see video below for clarification)



24. The things your parents don't know about you grows and grows. But it's not so bad now because you're getting old enough to make choices like that.
25. Waking up is sometimes harder than just staying up.
26. Sometimes you have not because you ask not. So just ask.
27. Every new year in hip-hop and rap makes you wonder how people like Waka and Soulja boy are making all the money, and people like B.O.B. and Wale are struggling.
28. I look good with bangs

29. You have to learn to give yourself more credit for your accomplishments. Most people are so busy with their own lives that everyone doesn't always have time to stop and pat you on the back.
30. People who support you make time to help you cope.
31. A blender makes dull Friday nights so much better.
32. Hulu and Netflix gives your computer a whole new purpose.
33. God's grace and mercy is so real, even when you're too busy to believe it.
34. People read my blog! ♥
35. You just got to live your life the way that makes you happy. If you do that, don't let the other ish get too deep under your skin, and know that everything happens for a reason, you paint yourself a beautiful life.

I'm stopping at 35 this year. ♥ Thanks to everyone who has helped me learn this year and have been with me throughout the school year; I love you all:
Jacqui, Chavelle, Lamar, Ryadah, Jerrica, Riean, Twin BayBay, Liz, Ms. LaShawnda, J-Strong, Portia, Natalie, Teaire, my Mommy!, my Daddy! ..............and any other names I forgot, insert here _________!

Leave your comments and your lessons learned!
♥ Shay

Simplified Complicated

After my last post, I got to talking to my booski via skype about sex without love, and then some more stuff. I love having smart friends, because they're capable of juggling complex ideas with you and can be okay with not reaching a solution.

Summary: we came to the conclusion that I like things in life a little complicated...or elaborate, if you will. It's a bittersweet addiction. On one end, my complicated life keeps me on my toes, keeps me motivated, moving, working towards something, it's exciting! But on the other side of the coin, complicated can get dirty, stressful, tiring, painful, and leave me running for the hills.

Which brings me to the point that I like my simplicity. I do. But I know I don't want a simple life. For one, I'll always be expecting it to go belly-up and get wayyyy out of line. Or if it doesn't do that, I'd just be bored, and probably settle into some pattern of complacency of life.

So how do I balance the two? I make simple choices in a complicated life. My friend argued back that you can't make simple choices for everything, and my counterargument was that I just have a simple procedure for reaching my conclusions and stances on things.  Why? Because life is gonna be complicated regardless of what plans you make. People with the best plans can still have fucked up lives. So why exert the extra effort of trying to avoid the inevitable?

I rather save that adrenaline for when the storm comes instead of hyping myself up on what MIGHT happen. I spent a good part of my life always worried bout what would happen next and the consequences of not weighing all the options of the future, blah blah blah.  Well, I don't even know all the options of the future, and all I really know is where I come from and what I am in the very moment. Everything else is a foolish attempt to play God. And trying to be God is a move that the devil himself knows isn't a good role to try to play.

I focus on the here and now and doing the best i can at the margin of time closest to me. When it feels too mundane, i reevaluate myself for complacency, for a decrease in drive, for a decrease in love of life. Because the easiest way to make it through life is to go through loving it. And if you aren't loving live, then life is just happening to you and you're not living at all.

I'm a complicaed being, I know. And I feel so misunderstood so much. I felt misunderstood having the conversation that this post stemmed from. I feel like my parents don't get me, and even my very best friends will attest that they've had their moments where all they could say was "WTF are you doing Shay?" Just for me to look at them, give them what I think is a  logical answer, and them still just writing it off as whatever.

I don't really take it personal anymore. Okay, that's a lie, I kinda sorta get in my feelings. But I remember that they have moments I don't understand them and just let it be.

It's hard being complicated sometimes, but I would hate to be simple and boring. I don't know. Maybe I already am.

Because I really want some tulips...

♥ Shay

Valentine's Day + Love + My Life + Take Notes

This is one of the best Valentine's Day of the 21 that I've had. And it's not just because of what I got from somebody...it's also because of the general state of my life at the moment. Things are well, and I'm so grateful for that in itself.
Some things of note today:

I woke up to these at my door :-)

Then I was able to have a really good brunch with two of my friends. The food was good and the conversation was better! Shoutouts to JG and LJ! 

Also, I have two formspring questions that I answered today that I want to share with you guys.

The first one:

Q: Who is someone at WashU that you look up to? Preferably an upperclassman/woman..

A: so i accidentally deleted my first answer to this...so this one won't be as prolific lol. I feel that there are many upperclassmen women that have done great and amazing things for me, and I LOVE ALL THEM SO FREAKING MUCH. For all the good advice and consoling and nights of hanging out together. It makes me feel all warm inside. With that being said, I don't want to name all of them because I know I'll probably forget someone, and I don't want to name just one because I know that there are so many more that I would have to acknowledge.

These are not lies you guys. Lol. I'm so grateful for the people that I've met at WashU that have been such a great support system and some of them just a lot of freaking fun!


The next:

Q: Do you believe in true love? Like the kind that lasts forever? And do you think you've found it yet?

A: I've found true love in God...because my relationship with him is the prototype for all my other relationships of love. 

Yes, I do believe in true love. I'm a sucker for love, and just becoming knowledgeable in the many shapes and guises and posers of love. I believe that there is love that lasts forever, even if it does seem rare for the my generation and the generation after us...but I think it just takes a little longer to learn :-)

I don't know if I've found true love. I feel that true love has the power to stay with you through MANY phases of life... Since I've been dating, I would say my life has only had one or two phases. So I don't know if my true love is already here or if I have yet to find it... And I don't think I've had enough trails to test the durability of it either. Give me a couple more years and see what I think then... I'll have more experience and evidence by then.

I think that one is pretty explanatory. I talk about love enough and have plenty of past posts for you to know a little bit more about that.


And finally, this was on my twitter feed, and I had to RT it and post it here. 

For you dudes who don't like Trey Songz, just get past your feelings for a minute and realize the validity of these words... #imjustsayin


I know alot of this stuff has come up because it's Valentine's Day, and I know all of it is because of life being a freeway with many overlapping lanes, etc. But it was just cool how all of this has kind of fallen together in one day and how I'm a pretty happy girl at the moment. Go me!


I hope you were able to spot the love and find some appreciation in this day too, whether single or together. The love in our lives comes in so many forms, don't worry about getting caught up in just one. Love is a shape-shifter.


♥ (and not just because of the holiday!)
Shay


P.S.: it wasn't until this post that I realized I didn't have a tag for happiness. How'd that happen?


Also, I was reminded of this video. It's called "For You" by David Ryan Harris. Enjoy it!

Why It's Good to Have Friends

Look, we all need friends. Seriously. If you're walking around pretending you're a loner with no friends, cut the bull and stop lying to yourself. In this big old world, there is somebody out there that is like you or even different from you that you are compatible with. Most of the time you don't have to look far from where you currently are to see them. But they're out there. And when you have good friends, you're quality of life shoots through the roof. Your conversations get deeper and your weekends get better. And begin to realize that even if life is beating the ish out of you, somebody out there has your back. 


It's a good feeling. Shoutout to all my friends, near me and far from me, old and new, serious and more crazy. Love all you guys.


On a note to end on.... everybody is always bragging about haters...bump that. They're irrelevant and take up too much room. Trust me, I'd rather have friends over haters any day.

♥ Shay

Be TRUTHFULLY Honest!

What is the balance between living life the way you want to and adhering the advice and concerns of others?

I'm finding that the satisfaction I pledged to obey in 2010 is being challenged left and right by various people. It's only difficult because it comes from the mouths of loved ones. Those are the people you don't really want to disappoint. And I wonder, am I being stubborn and foolish, or is it just my confidence??

I find that what people suggest I be just doesn't fit who I want to be right now. I'm 20 years old, and I'm at a point in my life where I want to see certain things, try to do certain things, etc. And to manage my money like some or to have fun like some do....it doesn't work for me. What to do?

Don't mistake this for trying to live for anybody....it's just trying to figure out how to best live for myself. I can accept that I don't always know best...but when do I actually know what's best for me?


Help me figure this out you guys! Leave a comment. Message me. Text me. Call me...Just give me some answers. You can even answer anonymously if you have something to tell me about myself that you can't personally say.

Living. Loving. Forgiving.
♥ Shay

What I've Been Up To

My apologies everyone for not writing lately. Not doing a good job of keeping ya'll entertained am I?

Let me just say that I've had some eventful times lately. This is huge news because anyone that has talked to me lately knows how bored I've been in Memphis for the longest. The last couple of weeks have been really good to me though. I've been out a few times with friends, new and old. Possibly had some spirits...:-)....lifted that is. Just a good time.

One of my previous posts talked about lack of patience and how to get the time to past a little faster. A fellow blogger in the blogosphere- KT -- suggested that I live a little, following the famous motto that "Time flies when you're having fun." Well that's what's been happening! And the memories I've had the last couple of weeks are priceless. Before I realized it, August is sneaking up on me.

Life is just good right now. Financially, I'm still in a hole, and it's actually deeper. I had to pay for an optometrist appointment, have to pay on $200+ eyeglasses, and have a series of dentists' appointments coming up. PLUS I have to figure out how to get this stuff for school.
But none of that matters right now. Life is good. I have an amazing big sis, an adorable baby niece, even more nieces and nephews, parents who just celebrated a 32nd anniversary, a cousin who's still my right hand (wo)man when it comes to it, and some crazy/sexy/cool friends.

Why should I complain?

My big bro from WashU, Gerald (follow him here), wrote on the #howdareyou trend a couple days ago. The best: #howdareyou complain all the time. Life's too short for all that. That's how I'm feeling right now. What's the use of making your life and the ones around you suffer from your skewed perspective?

Get out and live! Take the bad if it comes your way. It'll make the good that much sweeter! Enjoy the time with old friends, and take the time to make new ones. And don't forget the smiles and the moments that make you smile. You'll need them on the dark nights.

So yeah. Pardon me for not writing. I've had a few issues brewing in me, but none that can be developed enough to post here. I don't know...I could just do a variety day and post it all. But you all will have to comment!

♥ and Peace,
Shay

Thoughts on the Fourth

For the fourth of July, my family and I went to Sandhill, MS (the COUNTRY) to visit family on my Dad's side of the family. My dad, mom, sister, oldest niece, youngest niece, and myself all rode together, which made for an interesting trip.

While sitting outside on those picnic benches in the cool breeze, I really took in what I was seeing. There were several older family members I didn't know, but they still smiled and talked to me like I'd been around for ages. It reminded me, that you got to love family. I'm so grateful for a loving, concerned, and happy family. I might not see them all the time and we might not call each other all the time, but they're always happy to help and to see you.

On another note,

♥ I ate too much WAY too fast. Lol. I caught acid reflux that slowed me in my tracks and had to walk off.
♥ Wearing white shorts to the country proved to be a big FAIL.
♥ my great Aunt Katie makes the best chicken & dressing evaaa.
♥ Ain't no ice cream like homemade ice cream!

I hope everyone else had a great time too! Pictures below.

Me and my plate full of food. It was like 4 in the afternoon and I hadn't ate since around 9 that morning lol.



Me, my sister, and my great-aunt Katie. She is too funny!



My sister and I with my Daddy. As you can see, we stopped in Canton, MS on the way home.

BTW:
As you can see, I got my hair done. anyway. it's braided with a sew-in in the middle. I really love it, and it'll probably be in all summer.